Pretending You’re Ready.
“Dear Colette, Please find attached a spreadsheet I would like to go over during our next session. If you could review it prior to then, I think it would make our time more productive. Thanks very much. Joanne.”
The above was an email I sent to my therapist just a couple days before our scheduled session. The spreadsheet contained a detailed timeline and plan for exiting my first marriage. The truth was, I wasn’t ready to actually move forward with any concrete steps in that direction, but I was ready to pretend that I was. The timeline included multiple milestones: meet with divorce lawyer, look for an apartment, draft up divorce papers, discuss with husband, hire movers, move out. Somehow, typing these things in Calibri font in an Excel spreadsheet made them smaller, more manageable, less shattering. If I followed the spreadsheet, I would be moved into my new apartment in one year. It was ambitious in every way–logistically, physically, legally, and, of course, emotionally. But, there was no one but me to hold myself accountable to this crazy timeline, I thought.
When running a marathon, I always tell myself around mile 23, “If you run to the next water station, you can walk for a quarter mile, I promise!” I know with about 99% certainty that I will do no such thing, but, in that moment, I tell myself what I need to in order to grind out another mile. Sometimes, the biggest barrier to moving forward isn’t how the world views us, but how we view ourselves. If only my brain could believe just how strong and capable my legs are–I wouldn’t have to use my bag of tricks to get through the finish line.
It’s ok if you’re not ready today. I wasn’t ready the day I walked into Colette’s office with a print out copy of “Divorce.xls.” But it’s also ok to maybe pretend that you are, start doing some of the things that a person who is ready might do. In the end, I ran through every milestone and the ultimate finish line in that spreadsheet six months ahead of schedule. And it taught me something I can never unlearn:
I’m a lot tougher than I sometimes realize.
This Week’s Are You Ready Podcast Episode.
This week, I sit down with Nemanja Golubović, founder and owner of Kale My Name, and we talk about his decision to open a restaurant. Believe it or not, he opened the doors to Kale My Name only five years after emigrating to the US from his home country of Montenegro. He was only 30 years old and had worked his way up from restaurant host, to server, to the general manager of a moderately successful restaurant in Chicago’s Loop. Today, Kale My Name is one of the most acclaimed vegan restaurants in the country, picking up awards with dizzying frequency. When I asked him what inspired him to start his own business, he answered,
“I knew I was ready.”
Tune in to this week’s podcast!
Apple | Spotify | Google
This Week’s Recipe Inspo – Dal Tadka.
This week’s recipe inspiration comes from my friend, Nisha (@rainbowplantlife) who recently came over and made one of my favorite Indian dishes of all time–Dal Tadka!! If you know me well, then you know I LOVE LENTILS and I LOVE INDIAN FOOD! So, when Nisha offered to come over and teach me how to make her DELICIOUS recipe, I could not be more excited. You can watch the entire recipe video on my YouTube channel AND find the written recipe on Nisha’s delightful website!
Best,
– Joanne
