CLEAN YOUR RADISHES: First, take a paring knife or a small knife you would use to cut fruit and use it to snip off the unsightly hairy tip of your radish.Second, remove any dark blemishes, random hairs, or divots with the same knife, kinda like when you're peeling potatoes. You get rid of the "eyes," right? Or the gross looking sprouts. Same deal here.Third, give the radish a light scrape with the sharp edge of your blade. You don't want to peel the radish, as that's where so much of the flavor resides. You just want to pick up any stubborn grime.Fourth, remove any super wilted (or dead) greens from your radish, but do so gently. Otherwise, you risk removing the tail from your pony altogether. :(Fifth, bring your radishes over to the sink. Using steel wool or dish brush scrubber, scrub your radishes clean while running them under cold water. You want them absolutely gleaming by the time you're done. Make sure to thoroughly rinse the greens, as well, as they tend to collect dirt and sand.Sixth, pat them dry with a kitchen towel before placing them in a large bowl.Optional Seventh, if your radishes are very large (longer than 3 inches, thicker than 1 1/2 inch), you'll want to halve or even quarter them into spears. Again, take care with the radish greens when you do so, to make sure they stay attached. If they do come off, just stick 'em in the bowl with the radishes anyway. Sprinkle the salt over your radishes so that it is evenly distributed. Then, sprinkle 2 liters of water over your radishes, so that they get evenly wet. Thoroughly toss the radishes, to make sure every single radish and radish green gets salted. You're going to think this is too much salt, but don't worry--you'll be rinsing all of it off, later.In general, depending on how fresh and large your radishes are, and whether you've cut them into smaller pieces, you'll want to keep them in the brine between 90 minutes and 3 hours. Make sure you stir and flip them every 45 minutes or so, to make sure they get evenly coated in the liquid they release. While your radishes are pickling, prepare the blended mixture or what I call the "sludge." Place the onion, scallion whites, garlic, apple, pear, ginger, and plum syrup into the blender and blend until smooth. If you have trouble blending, add a couple tablespoons of water until the blades loosen. Set aside or place in the refrigerator if your radishes still have a long way to go.
To make the pul, add the sweet white rice flour to a small saucepan over low heat. Add 3/4 cup of water. Increase the heat to medium while whisking the contents of your pan. After about 3 minutes, you'll notice the mixture starting to thicken. Continue whisking the mixture, then, for another minute or two (so there are no lumps), until it starts bubbling. Remove from heat and set aside.
Here are things you can do to tell whether they're ready: (a) Check the greens to see if they are super wilted and soft; (b) cut off the tip of a radish--if it tastes extremely salty, they're ready; and try bending the radish spear--if it readily bends without snapping, they're ready. Once you've determined they are ready, bring them over to your sink and rinse each radish and its attached leaves thoroughly. The general rule of thumb is to rinse each radish twice. Afterwards, dry them off thoroughly with a kitchen towel; otherwise, they will be too wet and will dilute the kimchi sauce. Prepare the kimchi sauce by adding your sludge, rice paste, gochugaru, and fishy sauce into a large bowl. Mix the contents using a large wooden spoon or spatula until it turns into a paste.
Add the salted radishes, together with the scallion greens and chives to the bowl containing the kimchi sauce. Using gloved hands (this is the best) or tongs (this is not ideal), mix the veggies in the sauce until they are evenly coated and distributed. Do not get sloppy here--it is really important that the radishes and radish greens get well coated with the sauce to optimize fermentation.
Place your radishes and their greens in a 64 ounce mason jar or other equivalent container. If you're using a mason jar, you can wrap the green tails around the radishes to create tidy bundles to place in the jar. Press down on the radishes to make sure you squeeze out any air pockets. The final layer of radishes should be smothered in kimchi sauce and sprinkled with a tablespoon or two of salt (this will guard against the growth of yeast).
Seal your container and leave it out at room temperature for 3 days. Then, place in the refrigerator. Your ponytail kimchi should be ready to enjoy about a week to ten days after you've placed it in the fridge!